4.1.14

day #1

she was the kind of girl who would take

cigarette breaks while jogging.

The kind that would have sex with me on

a slide in an empty park at night.

She was the kind of girl who didn't mind

smoking K2 on our first date or the

kind that you could bring to the railroad

tracks, the beach or your parent's basement.

I loved the girl, I love the girl. She's inspired

a great change in me:

This is day 1 of 30 and I see a therapist,

work out three times a week and

tutor black kids from an underprivileged

school on the south side of chicago.

I've quit drinking, I want to be a good person,

I want to make things possible for us so

I can once again feel her toes against mine

beneath a blanket lying awake, anxious

and exhausted while she sleeps next to me
breathing nauseous breath in my face.