Archival Post #1: 

"Three Stories involving Diet Coke and One about Cooktop Cleaner"

3.26.14

11:08pm

My brother is sitting at my grandfather's desk typing a paper, drinking a diet coke. I am laying on the bed typing a short story. My brother is eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A glob of jelly falls out of the sandwich and onto my grandfather's desk.

My brother says “come here!”

As I get up to walk over I instantly know what I'm walking over to do.

He says, “slurp this shit!”

I bend over and slurp half of the jelly off of the desktop laughing.

He says, “more!”

I slurp the rest and we both laugh for about 10 seconds.

Then we go back to typing in our respective word documents.

3.29.14

12:38am

yesterday a funny thing happened.

I kept telling my brother that his nipples looked warm and

that perhaps he would like them chilled with a diet coke from the fridge.

Then, I was standing at the base of my brothers bed, he was on the right side drinking a diet coke and my other brother was on the bed. I picked up a twin mattress someone used to sleep on the floor and began to “beat” my brother on the bed with the cumbersome mattress. It veered off to the right as he tried to kick it off and hit the diet coke out of my brother's hand, spilling coke on his shirt, legs and the carpet of my grandfather's condo. He then proceeded to film me as I vigorously scrubbed the carpet with towel and handsoap. 

Then later tonight I couldn't find any handsoap so I washed my hands with glass ceramic cooktop cleaner.